I’m ready to go home.
On one hand, I am sad to leave after only 4,5 months, and having been to only a couple of places. Returning to a -5 degrees cold Germany. Returning to german unfriendliness.
On the other – the inner journey is also a deep, long journey. And mine was quite intense.
I will come back soon, with less luggage, more knowledge and wisdom, and my beloved man on my side.
I am happy to have spent several weeks (or months!) at one place, because now they feel a little like home. Kho Phangan was such a place…
I am ready to go home, to take the next step and work on my business. Because it’s not just about me anymore, it’s about the women who need my voice to help them find their own.
I lost my heart to Kho Phangan and Ubud – both places that have incredible positive energy and led to major healing.
I am thankful for all my experiences – but I am also done.
Done with traveling, at least for now.
Done with „hellooo, you alone, where you stay“ – are you seriously thinking I’m telling you where I am staying if you know I’m alone?!
Done with being ripped off.
Done with „ohhhh, no have sorry“
Done with eating at local places and explaining „No meat, no fish, no fish sauce, no egg, no MSG, no diary, no sausage“ – and getting at least one of those items in my food anyway.
Done with „Sarong, Water, Bintang you buyyyy“
Done with coconut water, because even that can get boring after a couple months.
Done with mosquitos.
Done with lying in the sun, because even after 4 months, I am still not tanned. My Skin doesn’t have the anatomical ability to tan, I guess.
Done with non-working ATMs.
Done with „the bank will charge you 3%“
Done with hostels.
Done with rooms without a working fan or aircon because you will choke in this heat.
Done with noise.
Done with carrying my backpack around.
Done with packing and unpacking my things every couple days.
Done with waiting for 4 days for my laundry to return – „ceremony, you wait, I pray, tuuumoro, tuumoro…“
Done with „Taaaaaxiiii miiiiieeees“ at every step I take.
Done with „wellkamm, massaaaaag“
Though I did have some very amazing massages. Usually at the places that don’t scream around for customers.
Done with „why don’t you rent a motorbike, everyone does it, I learned it here as well“ – I can’t drive and the one time I tried costed me 216 euros. My life is more valuable than the ego of driving could ever be.
Done with 7/11.
Done with shitty wifi.
Done with being stared at just because I’m blonde.
Done with diving group leaders trying to touch me underwater.
Done with being laughed at while saying „haha, you not 21 you look like 16. No way you have job and boyfriend haha“
Done with bad streets.
Done with roosters crowing in the morning.
Done with Asian toilets.
Done with seeing the poverty of Asia.
Done with extending my horizon.
Done with learning new things every day.
Done with never having the security that things will work out good.
Done with Indonesian time.
Done with polluted air.
Done with meeting backpackers.
Done with seeing the 50th sunset.
Done with rice fields.
Done with not being by my family and boyfriend.
Done with being on my own and not being respected for that, just because I am a woman.
I’m done, and I’m coming home.
Thank you Asia for 4,5 intense months. Thank you for the good and thank you for the bad – I’ve learned a lot from you.
There is a lot I will do differently next time, now that I know. Thats part of traveling..
Thank you for the life lessons, and the acceptance that I don’t have to be a classic backpacker. I can stay at one place for at long as it feels good. And if I don’t want to go to any other places that literally 3 islands and a couple places in Singapore and Malaysia, THAT IS FUCKING DAMN OKAY!!
No need to apologize to anyone for that. I might regret it later, I might not.
And if I really want to leave again, my backpack is waiting for me. No need to panic.
All the best to those still travelling. And lots of love to everyone in general.
See you back home!